I have a cousin whom we’d lost touch over the years but recently reconnected again after attending a wedding. Being the older one, as do all relatives, he was concerned that I was (still) working too hard and ‘neglected’ finding a life-partner.  He was also not pleased to hear that my on-and-off again gastric problems still persisted over the years and was now determined to get me the right help. In his mind, my life needed some overhauling of sorts, and he made it his mission to do so.

He decided to ‘tackle’ the health concerns first as he felt that was most critical. Because we shared some common problems, he was adamant that I see his chinese physician and foot reflexologist, the former to review my gastric and the latter to provide relief for my back pains. (Yes, foot reflexology can be a holistic treatment, because the believe is that the foot has pressure points that correspond to the different body parts, and apply the right pressure provides beneficial effect on the person’s overall health.) Whenever we met to follow-up on the medical appointments, he would surely remind me of the need for a woman to (1) not work so hard, and (2) find someone to share my life with.  (It’s not like I decided to remain single for the rest of my life, but Cupid was not coming my way)

One time, the conversation led to advising me to do things differently to spice up my life, and he mentioned that I could try a make-over. Oh, I should mention now that he is a fashion photographer so this was totally his domain knowledge and thus very difficult for me counter-argue. He gave me some ideas of what to look into, but I think he sensed that I was never gonna take any action. (He wasn’t wrong!)  As Fashion Week was around the corner, he decided to take me to one of the shows.  I’d seen from t.v. what these events are like, and even though I knew it wasn’t quite my crowd, I wanted a chance to witness the glamor and glitz.

When the day arrived, I was nervous and excited because I have never attended a fashion show before. As we neared the venue, straightaway I knew I was totally under-dressed because everyone looked their Sunday best, whereas I was dressed in casual top and jeans! (In my defense, the event was mid-day and held in some tent, not the Grand ballroom of Ritz Carlton) If Fashion Police really existed, I would surely be thrown into prison. Right away, I felt embarrassed to be there and even more awful for my cousin that he had brought me along. But instead of chiding me, he reminded me the purpose of bringing me along was to open my eyes to a different world.

Just as I’d seen in fashion shows on tv, we were not allowed into the actual runway area until much later, so people would gather for photographs and chit-chats, probably discussing their latest travels or shopping spoils whilst sipping champagne. Granted I was there to take notes to think about how to improve my appearance, I knew I wouldn’t dress the way most of them did.  I saw some men dressed in neon colors or floral designs that resembled a walking garden; women in heels so high I was worried they would trip over or that they had so many layers of clothing I was breaking out in perspiration just looking at them.

What I did learn and will take note, as loud and over the top as they seemed, they didn’t seem to care if people were staring but pranced around from table to table to talk about ‘who they were wearing’. To some extent, the fact that I don’t dress to the latest fashion trend was my way of not caring what others thought about my appearance, but the confidence I saw in these people was a totally different level and I couldn’t help but feel that I could try to be a little bolder in my dressing next time.

When the curtains opened for everyone to be seated, I was ushered to seats so near the runway, I was once again feeling the embarrassment kick in.  I couldn’t wait for the lights to be dimmed so people could not spot me. I kept my head as low as possible until the emcee came on stage to begin the show.  As expected,  5’9″ tall women with 24″ waists and men with broad shoulders and bulging biceps strutted the runway.

This particularly show I attended was the finale of the Asian designer competition, so I got to witness first-hand the hard work and finished products of these young designers.  I know very little about the fashion world, but it was so refreshing to see the level of details and design up-close.  I found myself talking to my cousin about how I liked certain fabric or patterns, or how I would pair up some shoes with certain outfit instead of what was on the runway.

I left the show thinking that just as I don’t have to dress for others and that confidence is about being comfortable, there is always room for improvement.